I am waiting.
When it comes to waiting, I am almost the best.
(I say almost because I have a friend, she knows how to wait in a much more refined way, I have learnt a lot from her).
So I am waiting. Nobody can tell I am waiting but I do.
I am silent, at times even joyful, I am able to talk about this and that, agree and disagree, laugh and sympathise but actually, I am not there.
In fact, I am waiting.
I am lost in a gap of time, somewhere between the present, the past and the future, I don’t move, I am just waiting.
I am calm and cold blooded, I am like a prehistoric fish at the bottom of the sea, hidden in the sand, with my antennas moving incessantly, moving like crazy, searching, evaluating, looking for signs and messages, looking for friends and enemies.
Just sitting there, at the bottom of my sea. Calm and silent, having even changed the colour of my skin so as not to attract anyone’s attention, so as not to make any impression whatsoever to anybody. Invisible. Waiting.
It doesn’t really matter what I am waiting for. My waiting experience has taught me that one can wait for anything, no matter how significant or insignificant it may be. All waitings are equally important. One has to realize this from the start: There is nothing that it is not worth waiting for. Don’t let anyone fool you and make no mistakes on this. Everything is worth waiting for. A phone call, the bus, a letter, an appointment, the end of the day and the beginning of the day, the time when the bar is open, the time to go to bed. Everything.
I have learnt to wait for anything.
I know by heart how to postpone life, I know this from my infancy.
All my life I have been waiting and I don’t plan to change now.
So I am waiting.
At the bottom of my sea.